Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
two words...techno handjob
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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