What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
