Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Randomize
