Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
