Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
