Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
