he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
