Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize