sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
