She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
