I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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