yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
