You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I'm like, not good at living.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
