If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
