I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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