so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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