are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize