So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
