it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
