apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Randomize
