She went from zero to smokin in five shots
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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