hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize