If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
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