omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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