Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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