i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
