Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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