can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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