Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
