I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize