Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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