I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
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