She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
