Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Randomize
