He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I got inside last night via doggy door
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize