She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Randomize
