the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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