That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
