The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
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