Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
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