smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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