Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
