Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
