Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize