I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
