It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
