It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
