Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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