I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
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