p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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