I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize