Four minutes until I can fart!
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize