things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I just cut my nipple shaving
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
