we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
