____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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