You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
