I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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