Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Is it because I queefed?
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
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