I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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