were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
