the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
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