it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
This is the prime rib incident all over again
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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