New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize