He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
My vagina just recognized that song.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Rumble strips road head = magical
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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