You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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