HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
