So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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