Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
