There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
