My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
sex in a hospital.. check
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
