when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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