Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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