why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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