I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
