Your tits are I can't wait for
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Randomize
