there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
