Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
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