Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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