My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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