Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
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